A collection of some of the most bizarre gems sold at Anthropologie. Thank goodness for these, or else we would literally own everything in the store.

Spend $38000 on this “Magician Sculpture” to have T.J Eckleberg’s eyes to follow you all around your house.
Can you believe they’re still looking for a buyer for this $1250 butcher-paper-and-staples walrus bust?

Can you believe they’re still looking for a buyer for this $1250 butcher-paper-and-staples walrus bust?

This bed is perfect if you want to feel like you’re asleep in Mono Lake.

It’s a little sad that this mini notebook only has 18 pages. Like you can’t even think of two dozen reasons to marry someone? BHLDN, you are not setting the standard for spending the rest of your life with someone very high.
Whoever designed this “Draped Pencil Skirt”  didn’t notice that it looks like you’ve tucked the bottom of your skirt into your underwear for safekeeping before mass producing these coral monstrosities.
For the millionth time, there’s no such thing as “vegan leather.” It’s plastic. You’re spending $90 on a plastic shirt. Enjoy your summer chafing.
Thank God Anthro has started selling workout clothing. My workout always needs more ruffles.
It was just a totally casual, candid photo, you guys. I just found a field of flowers that matched my $300 silk dress, set down the step ladder I always carry around and my camera went off. It was such an organic picture, like this exact moment could happen to anyone, you know?
"We’re doing two shoots for this summer: one in LA and one in the Netherlands. So we’re sending you to Amsterdam to stand on a bench and look excited."

"Wait, I have to deal with eight hours of jetlag just to stand on top of a bench? We can’t do that in LA? And why would anyone even stand on a bench? Is this for the Anthro catalog or a thirteen-year-old’s Instagram account?"

"Just stand on that Dutch bench and look goddamn THRILLED about it."

"We’re doing two shoots for this summer: one in LA and one in the Netherlands. So we’re sending you to Amsterdam to stand on a bench and look excited."

"Wait, I have to deal with eight hours of jetlag just to stand on top of a bench? We can’t do that in LA? And why would anyone even stand on a bench? Is this for the Anthro catalog or a thirteen-year-old’s Instagram account?"

"Just stand on that Dutch bench and look goddamn THRILLED about it."

These super tasteful, $750 handwoven tapestries totally say “I’m studying Cultural Anthropologie.”